As my friend and I sat there through the trailers we discussed how 3D was becoming a gimmick and that it takes a filmmaker with a vision to truly appreciate, utilize and vindicate the medium. The 3D trailers didn’t exactly set the stage for an extravaganza. We rolled our eyes through the trailer of some stupid ass film about sapient owls. At least Toy Story 3 and Shrek 4 look like they are doing something exciting with the technology.
Anyway, the film started eventually and I was impressed with the opening sequence detailing the back-story, which was completely wrong. The sequence reminded me of the opening sequence from the latest God of War game. Trust me when I say that this wasn’t the last video game reference of the film. From here things went downhill faster than an alpine skier. My friend and I paid extra for the 3D version but there wasn’t any. That’s right, save your money and just go watch the 2D version. In fact, don’t go watch this film at all because it sucks harder than a 2 dollar hooker. The effects are bland, boring, and you’ve probably seen them done better in other films. The acting is worse than Avatar. The score sounds about as epic as banging your head on a table. The cinematography is all over the place. The action is so hard to follow that you’ll appreciate Greengrass and his frenetic direction. The quickness of the camera doesn’t even communicate how visceral the action is supposed to be.
Consequently, this is a major failure throughout the film because it never feels “epic”. You never connect with the journey Perseus has to undertake. You never feel his anger at losing his parents. Heck, you don’t even understand how he just gets up and thinks he can go fight the Gods, and this is before he is told he is a demi-god. Even after that point, you don’t feel that he’s accomplishing anything more than the guys who die in battle beside him. In fact, the hero doesn’t accomplish anything himself without the other people helping him defeat enemies. What’s more is that you find yourself not caring because you don’t get to connect with the characters. Even when the Kraken appears there’s no sense of foreboding or excitement. The beast itself doesn’t even look that spectacular. Watching Perseus racing to save the day on Pegasus was also dull and derivative of any other film where the unsung hero is expected to save the day.
This brings me to the actors. I feel sorry for Neeson and Fiennes because they had to be a part of this drivel. I bet their young kids begged them to the film because I couldn’t imagine why two excellent actors such as themselves would be a part of this. The only thing worse than watching this film would probably be reading its script. Next, people should stop giving Sam Worthington roles. This guy sucks something serious and he has no charisma on screen. 3 big films and 2 big duds, even though no one will remember Avatar for anything other than the effects. The supporting cast is pretty slim pickings especially since they all die within 45 minutes of the quest beginning. I will say that Gemma Arterton and Alexa Davalos look ravishing.
This is what I always feared about the success of Avatar. It has given rise to a plethora of cheap films that think they can ride the 3D wave. If this is Avatar’s legacy then I curse that film. Why? Well, if Avatar had been a complete film (great acting, story, script etc…) then it truly would have redefined film making. However, Avatar itself was a big failure (money doesn’t mean shit) in film making, besides the phenomenal effects, that every Tom, Dick and Harry thinks they can cash in. It pains me to even think that upcoming films like the third Batman may fall prey to such devices. I hope that filth like Clash of the Titans will eventually start to spell the end of this 3D craze and leave it reserved for film makers with true ambition.
Final 1/5
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