SEC: XXX-RATED!!!

This one is a whole new bag of scandalous.

Poor Obama. He's out there breaking his back trying to pass his financial reform bill for more government oversight of the financial industry. Well, some shocking, and hilarious, news out of Wall Street last week probably wasn't something he expected.

You would think that while the world's economy was tanking, Iceland was sinking, and Greece was...heck I don't know what they were doing, the SEC would be working their asses off trtying to figure out just what the hell was going wrong. Well, you're wrong. As the world was descending into financial chaos, an internal investigation discovered that senior SEC officials were actually...surfing the Internet for porn!

As Jon Stewart so eruditely puts it:

"They should've been watching stocks and bonds, not cocks and blondes!"

Image: www.propublica.org

CNN reported that a senior attorney at the SEC headqurters spent 8 hours a day downloading porn, filled up the hard drive, and copied it to CDs/DVDs so that he wouldn't have to delete it. Here's the maths:

                                        8 hours=1 work day

I know unemployed people who are at home all day that don't even watch that much porn! I can't even imagine how creepy and undignified the women who work there must feel being surrounded by these hounds all day. One accountant was even found to have been blocked by the internal filter from visiting pornographic websites 16,000 times! I am impressed by his perserverance. But dude, get yourself to a strip club!

In total, there are only 16 recorded cases of this. Also, according to a 2006 Websense Inc. survey, 16% men with internet access at work use it to look at porn.  I guess finance must be one boring ball and chain if senior members of a regulatory institution would rather beat themselves off at the keyboard.

Anyway, this is what I propose:

Mr. Obama, please introduce a porn sensibility to your financial regulatory  reform. Also, show government officials how to delete their browser history, at least.

Brown calls woman a "bigot"-Oops!

The defecation may have hit the oscillation for Labour's election campaign.

Gordon Brown was being interviewed on live TV in Rochdale about his party's plans for the economy and their plans for tackling the deficit. During the dialogue with reporters, Gillian Duffy, a lifelong Labour supporter, heckled and challenged the prime minister to say he would tackle the debt. At the time, the prime minister paid her no attention. However, after the interview was over senior aides took him to meet the woman.

Mr. Brown clearly made an impression on her because she thought he was "a very nice man". Clearly, that's one vote in the bag. The prime minster, however, felt a little differently. He was still wired up a Sky News mic as he returned to his security detail. Once he got in the car he called the whole ordeal with the pensioner a "disaster" and "ridiculous". What's more is that he called poor Gillian a "bigoted woman". Ouch! Follow the link to the actual recording: http://tinyurl.com/35vzqsh.

As you can imagine, damage control was in full swing. Unfortunately, it was a little too late as the recording had already been aired on television. Commentators are saying that this will bring Brown's infamous temper and character back into the spotlight.

The prime minster's team did release a transcript of the exchange between the two. Now, I'm personally unable to comment because I wasn't there. But it appears that Mrs. Duffy made a comment on immigration and the amount of Easetern Europeans flocking to the country. She was possibly insinuating that the influx of Eastern Europeans affects jobs and benefits. If she did actually say that then I would also call her views bigoted. At the same time, I'm in no position to presume that her views are a natural extension of her personality.

In any case, Brown is now practically on his knees seeking atonement. But then again, it just shows how sensitive our society has become when we condemn our chosen leaders for the tiniest of transgressions. We look for fodder and sensationalize because we're all so deprived of entertainment. I can appreciate the complexity of the situation because of the election. However, a politican should be defined by his values, beliefs, and the methods he seeks to emply to improve the status quo. Now, if the woman turns out to actually be a bigot, then Brown will be regarded as a hero. In fact, after finding out about the prime minster's comments Gillian said that she would not be voting Labour. She is clearly the personification of fickleness. Earlier on she was on Labour's side because she agreed with their politics. And now that she feels insulted, she's back on the fence. Does a politican really want the vote of a person whose priorities can change in a heartbeat. I'm sure there have been variations of Labour politics over her lifetime which Mrs. Duffy didn't agree with but still backed. All I can say is stop voting with your hearts, guts and egos and learn to use your brain.

 

I left my thoughts in my other head!

Will wonders never cease?!?!?! The likely answer is NO. We have so much thinking power inside our heads that someone somewhere is probably conjuring up the next big leap forward.  It's exciting stuff. But we all know that two heads are better than one. By not having another head on our shoulders we're losing valuable thinking power. Well, that's all about to change.

British scientists have identified the "smed-prop" gene which allows our friends, the Planarian flatworms, to regenrate following an injury. This is similar to how a starfish is able to grow back a limb after losing one. What implications does this hold for us mere mortals?

Well, picture this: I walk over to you and chop off your hand with a machete (DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!). But instead of freaking out we start laughing. Why? It's not because we're demented (maybe a little). In fact, thanks to this gene human beings are now able to replace amputated limbs and organs.

What's more is that by studying this gene in its natural setting, scientists can formulate organised strategies in a lab to replace damaged/diseased tissue and organs. The scientists even go as far as to postulate that treatments/technologies derived from this find will be able to treat those with Alzheimer's.

Of course, this is all science fiction at this stage. At least now you know that you can always get back your wasted brain cells. Hell, you might as well get a new brain while you're at it. Just don't forget to take your thoughts with you.

There's Something Wonderful About This Place...

My sister sent me this quote a while back. When I read it, it brought a smile to my face and made me go all existential. I hope you can take something away from it:

A universe without purpose should neither depress us nor suggest that our lives are purposeless. Through an awe-inspiring cosmic history we find ourselves on this remote planet in a remote corner of the universe, endowed with intelligence and self-awareness. We should not despair, but should humbly rejoice in making the most of these gifts, and celebrate our brief moment in the sun.

-Lawrence M. Krauss is Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Case Western Reserve University.

*Image courtesy of Taiga Company

"To be or not to be?... That is the question."

Sunday. Yes, I'm aware that today is Monday but I didn't feel like writing this yesterday. Anyway,it's the day of rest. But then again, I have no job so I'm pretty well rested. Maybe I should observe the sabbath! Pfft! Yea right! I'll observe from as far as possible thank you. So without a job and a God to fear thiyou would think that this day would just blend in with the others and wither away into nothingness, taking me along with it. Well, when you assume you make an ass out of you..Yea! just you!

Unlike any other day, today was "Introduction to Acting"! 

My friend, David, and I are both movie buffs who fancy ourselves as actors. Kind of like how everyone who watches sports suddenly thinks they can do a better job at coaching than the incumbent coach when their team starts faltering. Idiots. Anyway, what you need to know is that David and I joined an acting class at City Lit to dip our toes into the actor's psyche...yea, that's an image you didn't want in your head.

We decided to meet at 9.30 AM GMT and have a little refreshment before heading out to class. I had to leave extra early because the stupid London Marathon was running (hahahaha) right by my house. In fact, my house was the half way point. Imagine my surprise when I stepped out and had news crews, bbqs, cheering people and idiots galore on my front porch. The one day when everyone stops to look at the people running. I'm told it's rivetting stuff. But then again I'm also told that kittens die when you masturbate.

But I digress. With coffees in hand we made our way to class. >>fast forward>> Things got going pretty quickly. Our tutor, Jane, was a professional actor turned teacher. She seemed fun and a clealy enjoyed the work she did, which filled us with confidence. She immediately sat everyone, about 18-20 people-no hotties, down in a circle and asked us to introduce ourselves. We obliged but I was filled with disquietude by the possible cougar who had set her eyes on me. RRRROWR!

Jane started us off with essential exercises to help us break our personal space. If you know me then you know my personal space conssists of 2 minefields, pools of radioactive goo, missile defense systems, machine gunners, nukes, lasers, The Justice League, watchdogs, and if all else fails-my trusty middle finger! These games were designed to be fun but I was skeptical. The first one was based around hugging the nearest person, on cue, as if your life depended on it. Not a problem because when strangers hug me I feel like my life is teetering on a precipice. In actuality, I found it to be incredibly fun and I was impressed by how effective it was. Hell, I even won the knockout hug challenge! We played some more similar games and I enjoyed them all, especially the Wink Murder one. But I thought the exercise where we had o talk gibberish to each other was a waste and slightly difficult. In retrospect, it probably helped to free us from overthinking things and just go with the flow.

>>fast forward>> After lunch we reconvened for a more improv based session. This was exactly what I had been relishing. A chance to rip loose with a given scene. Everyone volunteered depending on how comfortable they were. I even got to play a substitute teacher trying to get an unruly class in order. The tutor was clearly impressed but I waivered in my attempt to present a "high status" figure correctly. I did manage to get some cred back when I was asked to play a disorderly troublemaking student, which I think I did expertly. The piece de resistance, however, was the finale.

We were seperated into smaller groups and given the freedom to create a scene. I took command and my group came up with a bank robbery scene. It was violent, action packed, and Jane was clearly hit by a freight train carrying a load of awesome sauce. She was awe-struck and I was feeling a little egotistical-does that make me an actor?? Once the other groups finished Jane applauded all of us for a work well done and offered words of encouragement to us budding thespians.

The whole day was a fabulous experience and I felt I got my money's worth. I think David would concur. It definitely makes me look at the profession from a different perspective. My only regret is not getting that short film directors number. But I still managed to get some good leads. What did leave a mark on my mind was Jane's goodbye. As I was leaving she looked me square in the eye and gave me a heavy nod, which to me looked like a sign of acceptance or great approval. It was probably nothing but a boy can dream. By the way, anyone know how much a dreamer's ticket to Hollywood is?

Goldman Sachs: Charged with fraud. What does it mean?

Allow me to clarify this complicated clusterfuck which outlines just how out of touch these banks have become:

1) The allegations accuse Goldman of consorting with prominent hedge fund Paulson and Co. Inc. to devise risky sub-prime mortgages which were designed to fail.

2) Goldman then proceeded to vouchsafe these as "good investments", sold them on to other investors, and promised the support of the hedge fund's investments.

3) Now, here is the actual fraud. Goldman somehow "forgot" to tell these investors, or hid it away in some convoluted prospectus, that the hedge fund had actually helped to pick the WORST mortgages. Moreover, behind the curtains they were betting against these investments.

4) To add insult to injury, Goldman will be handing out about $5.5 billion in bonuses. WHY? They just gave $16 billion in January to cover bonuses and compensations for 2009. Seriously, if they have this much money to give out as bonuses I wouldn't mind a piece of that pie. Just let me know who I should forward my address to so I can receive my check.

5) As can be expected, the companies involved stood to make a lot of money. However, Goldman claims that they actually lost money and are using this as their defense. They say, that they lost around $90 million and are actually the victim and not the perpetrator of this crime.

As you can see,this is one heck of a mess. Andrew Ross Sorkin sums it up with an imaginative metaphor. He says that this trickery is the equivalent of "buying fire insurance on a neighbour's house and then committing arson."

If anything, this augments the argument for a modernization of the system. Things are getting out of hand. It's about time a policy of stringent regulations is introduced because in Goldman's world greed is clearly God. From here, it looks like President Obama will likely pass his ideas on financial reform in the coming weeks, despite the Republican threats of a filibuster. I look forward to it and will cover it in a future post.

REVIEW: SEVENDUST-COLD DAY MEMORY

The new Sevendust album is finally here! The moment the band announced that founding member/guitarist Clint Lowery was back for good I automatically added this to my list of most anticipated rock albums.

The band has been pumping out albums since 1997 with albums such as HOME and ANIMOSITY becoming modern classics. But the band has never managed to rise to the stratospheric heights visited by their brethren. Some might say that the band is comfortable living under the radar. Purists might even argue that it protects the band and keeps them “real”. I could care less because I’ve always enjoyed the band’s music. However, losing Clint after SEASONS, for me at least, was the equivalent of losing an arm and a leg. This doesn’t mean that the band lost focus on the post-Clint albums. Instead, they hired Sonny Mayo and explored different concoctions of their brand of rock on ALPHA and CHAPTER 7. As good, or bad, as those albums were I found them severely lacking. The band didn’t sound like a cohesive unit and seemed lost in experimentation. But that was then. The announcement of Clint’s return was a sign of good things to come. I just didn’t expect them to be this good. COLD DAY MEMORY takes everything about Sevendust, turns it up to 11, and then smacks it across your head. The focus, the passion, the intensity, the emotion, and, most importantly, the music is back. Let’s explore it track by track:

1) SPLINTER

The band takes no prisoners here. They’re letting you know that they’re back with a kick to the nuts. Lajon has never sounded so good. Clint and John’s partnership looks untarnished, and they pick up right where they left off at the end of SEASONS. The palm-muting is unyielding. At the same time, Morgan and Vince hold everything together. Listen, for the sweet breakdown and solo.

2) FOREVER DEAD

This song is positively brutal. This is the moshpit song of the year right here and people will get hurt. Memories of Praise and Denial are revisited as Clint, Morgan, and Lajon exchange vocals over the intense wall of sound. The double bass drumming is the driving force behind this song and Morgan’s talent shines through. Try not to headbang and sing-along to the addictive chorus. And what’s that? Sevendust are pulling off solos left and right. The climax of the song is one angry hellfire of screaming and soulful lyrics. When Lajon shouts “Forever…” you know it’s a promise this band intends to keep.

3) UNRAVELING

Classic Sevendust. The band has always known how to write a scorching single and this one doesn’t disappoint. On this track, Lajon wants you to know that he belongs in the upper echelon of rock singers. His voice reaches new levels as it soars through the song and makes you hang on every word. It’s beautifully cathartic, especially the part right after the second chorus. Through it all, the rest of the band has Lajon’s back. But this is his song and you should listen closely.

4) LAST BREATH

A song that wouldn’t sound out of place on SEASONS. It’s very melodic and slower than the last three tracks. Nothing special, but by no means a filler track.

5) KARMA

The way this track started I thought it would be a slow acoustic type song. But, after the short build up, Morgan screams to let you know this is a very different song. The guitars add a neat layer of texture and harmonize with the drums and vocals well. It’s an interesting song because it’s a unique song in the band’s catalogue. However, the song’s chorus is probably the weakest point. The lyrics seem amateur at best but they fit with the tone of the song.

6) RIDE INSANE

Back to the heavy after a brief respite. Good lyrics, singing, screaming and musicality in general. Sounds like the type of song you would play if you were driving fast towards an apocalypse. It has a fantastic breakdown. Almost sounds like Morgan and Clint were screaming at each other in the vocal booth. In any case, it sets up the end of the song well.

7) CONFESSIONS

A song for Clint. It’s been said this was written about his departure. Whatever the case may be, it is a stellar track. There’s a lot of emotion in this song. It’s similar in tone to Unraveling, but this has a more positive outlook. You wouldn’t be wrong if you thought of it as a sequel to the former song. It’s addictive and expertly written. One of the album’s best.

8) NOWHERE + 9) HERE AND NOW

These two tracks are very similar so I grouped them together. They’re standard Sevendust songs and don’t take any risks. Heavy melodic guitars? Check. Soft to screaming vocals? Check. Affinity for solos? Check. They’re not terrible songs but they’re just not as adventurous as the rest of the album.

10) THE END IS COMING

This is one hell of an angry song. Lajon starts things off nice and slow to get into your head. Once he’s in there, Morgan kicks the door in and present you with the end of the world. Meanwhile, Clint and John are grinding their axes on your brain with their constant riffing. Vince keeps the low end rumbling. The shining star of this track is the SUPERB solo by Clint. This is when you smile and say “Welcome back buddy.”

11) BETTER PLACE

This is probably the best track of the bunch. It shows what the band is capable of. If you enjoyed Burn off of Alpha then you will love this. The deceptive prog-rock beginning turns into a heavy chugging machine of guitars and drums. Lajon and Clint keep things on track with an optimistic chorus built on the foundation of despair painted by the guitars. It’s definitely a special track on the album.

12) STRONG ARM BROKEN

The closing track is a relentless barrage on your sense. Solos, screaming, heavy riffs, and double bass keep this one short and simple. However, it’s a horrible choice for a closing track. I personally think that the previous track would have made for a better closer. In short, I’m not too impressed with it and would label it the weakest track on the album.

Overall, this is a welcome return to form for the band. It’s a striking tapestry of aural brutality and euphonics burning in a fire that refuses to go out. Personally, I think that’s an apt description for the band. This might not be the album of their careers but that shouldn’t matter. The band is aware of their strengths and remains dedicated to their trade and each other. I, for one, am always impressed. I’m sure you will be to.

Overall: 8/10

REVIEW: Kick-Ass

I saw this film two weeks ago because it came out in the UK on the 26th of March. Here's the late review. Don't judge me! I'm just trying to catch up.

LIKES:

1) Story: I've never read the original comic so this is completely objective. I enjoyed the simple story. Who hasn't dressed up as their favorite superhero and become the great pretender? We all have and this film makes it a reality. It's also a PSA apprising you that if you do choose to become a superhero you will get your ass handed to you in different cuts. It's the typical "nerd doesn't fit in and then suddenly becomes cool" type of film but with a twist. It's raw and refined at the same time. The action is furious and the bloodflows turn into rivers as it earns its R rating. Start to finish it does not let up and keeps you laughing and keeps you enthralled.

2) Chloe Moretz: In a word Hit Girl is AWESOME. Chloe does such a great job with the character and weaves effortlessly between sweet little girl to gleeful filler. Nicolas Cage does an admirable job as the father and Big Daddy (via Adam West). After a strong of duds it's good to see him rebounding. Aaron Johnson is also impressive. He's clearly channelling Tobey Maguire's take on Peter Parker and it works. McLovin is also here and I don't really care for this guy. Seriously, why is he so popular? Shouldn't his star be falling by now? In any case his geek cred is utilized well here as he hams it up. If there is a sequel I can completely see hime becoming a similar villain to Sinestro from The Incredibles.

3) Direction: Every scene in the film drips with the Vaughn's skill. Forgetting his previous films it seems that stylized action just might be this man's calling. If you don't believe me you can check out Big Daddy's destruction of a warehouse and Hit Girl's two superb action sequences, especially the rescue in the dark. He blends his arsenal of effects well enough to keep you guessing. At the same time, it doesn't look overdone. This film wasn't made to be a blockbuster but it sure looks like one, akin to District 9 and Moon.

4) Action: The fight scenes are filmed with visceral realism and the cinematography is to thank. Too many times action sequences can be ruined by bad camera angles (I'm looking at you Batman). Not so with this film! It's almost videogame delicious and each bullet, punch, and kick leaps out at you from the screen to put you right i the middle of the action.

5) It's not in 3D: 'Nuff said.

DISLIKES:

1) Honestly, I found nothing seriously wrong with this film. The only thing I can think of is the attempts to tug at your heartstrings. Those scenes don't break the flow of the film but don't add anythin else to it either. Overall, I can't really fault them but only wish they had been done a little better. Otherwise, if you're fishing for faults then you're just too damn hard to please. The film does everything it promises and comes out swinging at the other end. The actors have fun with the material and it shows. This is the first real hit of the Spring/Summer season of films. Go watch it and have a riot.

OVERALL: 10/10

REVIEW: Dragon Age: Origins-Awakening

I know, I know! This is over a month late. I wanted to give this game the time it properly deserves. So here goes:

LIKES:

1) This is not an expansion. They said it would take anywhere between 15-20 hours. I'm playing on the insane difficulty and this game takes time. Especially since I'm the kind of player who takes it all in. Don't expect to finish this one quick. There's so much to do in the limited world of Amaranthine that it's criminal to only charge £15 for this. Thank you EA and Bioware for keeping the tradiaitonal expansion alive. This is what DLC should be. Now give me some Mass Effect 2.5

2) The story is just as good as the first one. I kept trying to figure out what the creepy darkspawn were up to. It holds you in a vice grip until the final swing of your hero's sword. The dialogue and the expanded history of the region has also been written with the same amount of love and care it took to craft the original.The codex is expanded and the orignal world of the game is a better place for it.

3) The battles in the expansion are exhilirating. At one point you fight agasinst two dragons. TWO! At another point you fight one so big it took me near an hour to take him out. The final boss battles are equally straining. Any other game and this would have been frustrating. Bioware know how to lock you in and not let go.The entire tie I was screaming and shouting at these enemies to die alongside my heroes. The sore throat and loot are totally worth it. Just wait until you check out Justice's unholy armor set and the Mother's Chosen sword.

4) The new powers positively rock. I have never had so much fun pounding the living shit out of an enemy with a two-handed sword (last Sunday night doesn't count!). All the classes get new specialisations and can now master in 3. New  skills and abilities are also present which you can use to really mix things up. The new weapons and armors are fantastic and equally devastating.

5) This is a small one. I like the fact that there is a barebones economy system hidden in the game. Building up your HQ and managin the troubles of your lands is a step in the right direction. I hope to see more of this in the next sequel.

DISLIKES:

1) Characters: Ok, this one isn't fair because some of them are actually very cool. Nathaniel, Anders and Oghren steal the show. The others are just not compelling and are very bland. I had hopes for Justice but he was merely passable. There are cameos from the first game but part of me wishes the gang was back for another go around. I would also liked to have seen/hear about Morrigan more. The supporting NPCs are well implemented and the enemies are as sinister as ever.

2) No carry-over: I don't know why Bioware felt that I wasn't allowed to take my DLC from the first game over. I had to raise an eyebrow when I started the game and my character was naked. What's more is that not all major decisions from the first game carry over. I can understand that within the scope of this expansion it would be difficult, but after the 100s of hours put into the first one I would have liked to see more.

3) CRASHES! Boy this expansion really crashes to he desktop A LOT! I had no problems with the original game resembling this issue. Patch please Bioware!

4) A little simple: I know I said that the battles were hard fought and left me as bloodied as my hero. At the same time, they were almost effortless. I rarely lost my entire team and was never in a trur spot of bother, and this was on the hardest setting. I know there were complaints about the unforgiving difficulty of the first but why did Bioware have to listen to a bunch of pussies?

Overall 9/10

*Image property of Bioware

Breathe Deep Gaia!

By now everyone is pretty well informed about the Icelandic volcano that exploded with such rage that  Europe's balls retreated back into its body-or in this case airplanes back into their hangars.

Anyway, my good friend and his lady love were due to fly to Norway on Friday-Mother Nature had other plans. Instead we all went to Greenwich and had a fun day out in the Sun. During a bit of respite from the fun we stood in awe at the view that was painted before us.

Now, my friend and I love skylines and London's is one of the most serene. As we looked on and cogitated on our aspirations and expectations of life I said something along the lines of the following:

"Dude, just look at that sky. There's not a single plane in the sky on this clearest of days; it's a bird's playground. It's humbling that one act of nature can cripple an entire infrasturcture. I think Earth deserves this and we shold enjoy it."

That's not exactly what I said but the thougths were all there. Honestly, I could care less about the stranded passengers and their plight. However, my heart goes out to those who were injured/lost homes/lost their lives because of the volcano. More importantly, we should not take this little gift nature has given us for granted.  Actually, there is an article on GIZMODO which shows that 206, 465 tons of CO2 were saved as a result of the cancelled flights (http://xr.com/nx58) . Laugh it up Earth, you desrve it. For now enjoy this picture my friend snapped:

Music Spotlight: Drugstore Fanatics

I came across Drugstore Fanatic's Myspace page while I was searching for some new music some time ago. At that point they had no music up on the page and they slipped away from my mind. Then came news that Static-X axe grinder Koichi Fukuda and Ryan Collier of Opus Dai had joined them. I immediately headed over to the Drugstore Fanatic Myspace and found myself headbanging to the songs in no time. 

These fanatics are not your everyday band. Primarily they are a rock band but you can effortlessly hear influences from other genres. In fact, every single song soudns like 3 different songs mashed up together. The progression are near flawless. Take for example the song Pace Protection: it starts off quietly with gentle tones and almost whisepred vocals. Then, all of a sudden, it blasts off into the stratosphere without losing focus on its destination, to move you and invoke a strong response. A lot of the slow burners take on a similar structure but it never gets old. But don't think that this band are just about the slow and ambient prog rock stylings of Team Sleep, Tool or the Smashing Pumpkins. They can rock out with the best of them and tracks like Hangman and Bullet are a testament to that.

What makes the band so interesting is that they spice up a rock recipe that was quickly becoming bland. This isn't overproduced corporate rock. In fact, the band (2 guys at the time) produced this themselves without the backing of a major label. Compare it to any of the shit that gets churned out of modern rock radio and you'll be selling them onto your buddies. The band's musicality is pinpoint and Daniel Brecher has a great vocal range and his guitar skills are on equal footing. The real star here is drummer Aviv Cohen. The drum patterns he creates are mesmerising. I'm not a gifted musician but I know a good thing when I see/hear it.

In short, don't pass this band up. If you're a fan of A Perfect Circle, Tool, 10 Years, Nine Inch Nails, Mudvayne, Incubus, and the mighty Deftones then you will surely enjoy this band and what they have crafted. Follow the links below to the band's website where you can dowload the album free. YES FREE!!! You can also get a higher quality version by paying $5 and supporting the band.

Link: http://www.drugstorefanatics.com/

Final Score: 8.5/10

Think About It...

Society is, always has been and always will be a structure for the exploitation and oppression of the majority through systems of political force dictated by an élite, enforced by thugs, uniformed or not, and upheld by a willful ignorance and stupidity on the part of the very majority whom the system oppresses

A Little Sad...

I'm feeling a little down today. I HAE TO SHAVE!

Let me explicate: For the past couple of weeks I've been grooming a beautiful shield of facial hair.

Why?

Well, for one it's just a lot easier than shaving (have you seen the prices of razors!). Secondly, they are kind of 'in' right now. Most importantly, I was inspired the man himself: Jeff Bridges. Tell me that when you see his beard in Crazy Heart/Iron Man/Tron Legacy/Big Lebowski that you don't feel the hair on your face automatically rise. I did my best but alas the beard wouldn't fly at the interview I have coming up. So I leave you with an homage to what I wish I could have achieved:

Review: CLASH OF THE TITANS

As my friend and I sat there through the trailers we discussed how 3D was becoming a gimmick and that it takes a filmmaker with a vision to truly appreciate, utilize and vindicate the medium. The 3D trailers didn’t exactly set the stage for an extravaganza. We rolled our eyes through the trailer of some stupid ass film about sapient owls. At least Toy Story 3 and Shrek 4 look like they are doing something exciting with the technology.

Anyway, the film started eventually and I was impressed with the opening sequence detailing the back-story, which was completely wrong. The sequence reminded me of the opening sequence from the latest God of War game. Trust me when I say that this wasn’t the last video game reference of the film. From here things went downhill faster than an alpine skier. My friend and I paid extra for the 3D version but there wasn’t any. That’s right, save your money and just go watch the 2D version. In fact, don’t go watch this film at all because it sucks harder than a 2 dollar hooker. The effects are bland, boring, and you’ve probably seen them done better in other films. The acting is worse than Avatar. The score sounds about as epic as banging your head on a table. The cinematography is all over the place. The action is so hard to follow that you’ll appreciate Greengrass and his frenetic direction. The quickness of the camera doesn’t even communicate how visceral the action is supposed to be.

Consequently, this is a major failure throughout the film because it never feels “epic”. You never connect with the journey Perseus has to undertake. You never feel his anger at losing his parents. Heck, you don’t even understand how he just gets up and thinks he can go fight the Gods, and this is before he is told he is a demi-god. Even after that point, you don’t feel that he’s accomplishing anything more than the guys who die in battle beside him. In fact, the hero doesn’t accomplish anything himself without the other people helping him defeat enemies. What’s more is that you find yourself not caring because you don’t get to connect with the characters. Even when the Kraken appears there’s no sense of foreboding or excitement. The beast itself doesn’t even look that spectacular. Watching Perseus racing to save the day on Pegasus was also dull and derivative of any other film where the unsung hero is expected to save the day.

This brings me to the actors. I feel sorry for Neeson and Fiennes because they had to be a part of this drivel. I bet their young kids begged them to the film because I couldn’t imagine why two excellent actors such as themselves would be a part of this. The only thing worse than watching this film would probably be reading its script. Next, people should stop giving Sam Worthington roles. This guy sucks something serious and he has no charisma on screen. 3 big films and 2 big duds, even though no one will remember Avatar for anything other than the effects. The supporting cast is pretty slim pickings especially since they all die within 45 minutes of the quest beginning. I will say that Gemma Arterton and Alexa Davalos look ravishing.

This is what I always feared about the success of Avatar. It has given rise to a plethora of cheap films that think they can ride the 3D wave. If this is Avatar’s legacy then I curse that film. Why? Well, if Avatar had been a complete film (great acting, story, script etc…) then it truly would have redefined film making. However, Avatar itself was a big failure (money doesn’t mean shit) in film making, besides the phenomenal effects, that every Tom, Dick and Harry thinks they can cash in. It pains me to even think that upcoming films like the third Batman may fall prey to such devices. I hope that filth like Clash of the Titans will eventually start to spell the end of this 3D craze and leave it reserved for film makers with true ambition.

Final 1/5

PC REVIEW: ASSASSIN'S CREED 2

Nulla è reale, tutto è lecito. Requiescat en pace.

I’m going to be honest. The first Assassin’s Creed was one boring and repetitive game which I will probably never play again. Sure, it brought something different to the genre with its mix of action, platforming and open-world gameplay. The storyline, replete with conspiracies and interesting characters, greatly enhanced the action and kept things from stalling. Of course, being able to experience all this from the point of view of a lithe free-running assassin was just icing on the cake. I still pretend I’m Altair every time I pull my hood up and walk through the thick crowds inhabiting London’s streets. However, the experience was hampered by the incessantly repetitive mission structure. Moreover, the side missions felt tacked on and displayed a complete lack of imagination and variety. These were what I considered to be the biggest issues. There are probably more but I can’t remember them, nor do I feel like experiencing them again for the sake of this review. In any case, if you played the first one and thought it had flaws then you know what I mean. They weren’t game breaking but they definitely held the game back from achieving its true potential (how it got such high review scores I’ll never understand). But I am a forgiving soul, most of the time, and can absolve Ubisoft on the grounds that the first game was merely a prototype for a new action-adventure franchise. Why am I feeling so generous? Well, that’s because I have just finished Assassin’s Creed 2 and it is an entirely different beast.

The story continues right where it left off with Desmond getting the proceedings of to a flying start. From there the player is introduced to new allies and a new ancestor: Ezio Auditore Da Firenze. Ezio is the lead Altair never was. He’s charismatic, endearing, egotistical and lackadaisical. At first glance you wouldn’t think he has the chops to become an assassin who could escape his own shadow. But tragedy has a way of altering a man and that’s exactly what Ezio goes through. I don’t want to give too much away but the story really drives the games forward this time around. It takes place over a long period and we see how Ezio becomes the master assassin he was always meant to become and the trials and tribulations involved. Simply put, a predictable tale of revenge gets superseded by a conspiracy that promises to shake the very boundaries of the virtual world depicted in the game. And what a world it is.

From the start you are taken aback by the size of the world maps. In truth the open world is so big that it is easy to get sidetracked from the main story. Every city you visit is spectacular and different. My personal favorite would be Venice for the sheer number of districts and missions the player can undertake. The architecture is simply gorgeous and startlingly varied. Famous landmarks are clearly represented and are accompanied by their relevant historic information in the game’s extensive database. Heck, you can actually see the little holes in the walls that Ezio clutches at to climb. Speaking of climbing, Ezio’s animations are wonderfully realized. The running, fighting and climbing just flow so smoothly and realistically that you can rarely tell where one animation stops and the next begins. Most impressive were the minutiae of character animations. Watching Ezio climb and see his hand twist to grab a small protrusion on a wall left me astounded at the level of detail and work Ubisoft dedicated to this. Even swimming (yes, Ezio swims with all that heavy armor and weaponry) and flying are done well and don’t feel like gimmicks. In fact, I was surprised by how well the controls handled for the brief flying and chariot chase segments as well as on the whole.

The side missions have been greatly expanded upon as well. The staple ones from the first game remain, albeit with a few twists. I thoroughly enjoyed the new assassination missions, even though I felt they would never end because there are just so many of them. Combat also seems to have had an overhaul of sorts. No longer do enemies just crowd around you waiting for you to initiate an attack with them. In this outing they gang up on you and some are downright difficult to counter. To aid Ezio Ubisoft has included a whole range of devastating new weapons and flamboyant moves for our hero to employ. The coolest of these has to be the second hidden blade which Ezio can, with a leger de main, utilize to dispatch two enemies at once. Each of these weapons is accompanied by 2 or 3 brutal scripted finishing moves which can leave remaining enemies fleeing in terror. There are also new armor sets, smoke bombs and a rudimentary revolver. There is also a new economy system in the game where you can buy upgrades for your villa/hideout, which in turn can get you discounts at stores and keep your pockets full. This isn’t on the level of say Scarface but it adds an interesting side element to the game. However, it must be said that the feather quest was a waste of time and I’m a mama’s boy (you’ll see what I mean if you play the game). Other side quests include finding hidden symbols (to unlock “The Truth”) and deciphering their puzzles, some which I thought were quite crafty and complicated.

 

The game engine has clearly been reworked to accommodate the stellar graphics. Everything just looks so polished (not in an UE3 kind of way) and the attention to detail is mesmerizing. The facial animations are also eerily well rendered to the point that you find yourself staring at the lips of the characters. The day and night cycle also adds to the realism of the world. This is most noticeable during the Venice carnevale as the entertainers go about their business and you’re just a blade in the crowd stalking your prey, similar to the Hitman Blood Money level in New Orleans. Last but not least, I have to bestow praise upon the musicality of Jesper Kyd’s score. The soundtrack keeps your blood pumping during the action sequences and tugs at your heartstrings during the more dramatic scenes.

Overall, I enjoyed the many, many, many hours I poured into the game. One gripe I had would be that I never felt particularly challenged. The game isn’t that difficult. Moreover, I had issues where getting detected was just too damn easy. Maybe I wasn’t being careful but it is only a minor issue. Similarly, Ezio would from time to time grab onto ledges I didn’t want him to, usually during a frenetic chase sequence, making the free running seem a bit wonky. Also, I played this on my PC with the new DRM from Ubisoft. All I can say is that I had ZERO issues with it. Yes, the game crashed and disconnected sometimes, three times in total, but it never made me throw up my fists in dissent. I was just too impressed with the final product that I didn’t care for the complaints of the community against, what they consider an infringement of their rights. In short, you would be doing yourself a great disservice by not picking this game up.

FINAL SCORE: 8/10

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp_AlOMcdjw

** All images are the rightful property of Ubisoft.